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Have had the other one of my cats not overly well recently ... the youngest one .. 6.5kgs of muscle ... off to the vets in the morning for a few teeth out ... he's been having issues eating and he has had to wait over a week to be admitted to have them done. He's been on pain killers and antibiotics for a little while and one of the guys from the CEF sent me this little gem, when I mentioned it on there. ...
"How to give a cat a pill:
Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.
As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.
Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.
Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.
Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away.
Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer.
Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer.
Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.
Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
Tie the little @!!@#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed.
Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet.
Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
Consume remainder of Scotch.
Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye.
Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to give a dog a pill:
Wrap it in cheese.
have had a few like that
..... and some amazing ones too. 
Had one in work on chemo for nigh on 3 years ...
he'd be sat on my desk every morning waiting for me to arrive ....
and again at 6 of an evening .....
he knew and was absolutely brilliant at taking his 4 tab.s morning and night.
Used to have a vincristin shot at the vets every 3rd week and although he'd sit growling at 'em, they always said he was as good as gold and never scratched or bit any of them
He was an exception to the rule though
Slinkymog, sat on the 4 ton Hyster bonnet .... he'd ride around on the FLT for hours ... it was nice and warm
SLINKY.jpg
same joker also came up with this one .......
How to wash a cat
Thoroughly clean the toilet. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION!!!!!
Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
Flush the toilet three or four times.
Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
I came in to work one morning, many years ago (before Slinkymog was ill) to find him covered head to foot in brown, silty, muddy mess .... he'd obviously been rolling round in a muddy puddle ... probably defending his turf .
Stuck him in a couple of inches of warm water in the sink and proceeded to attempt to get him clean!!
he looked a bit more cat like, (all be it a very wet one), after about three changes of water ..
sat there good as gold and loved being toweled dry after ....
much like the two we have here at home ...
they go out in the rain 'specially to get soaked and toweled down on re-entry
"How to give a cat a pill:
Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.
Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.
As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.
Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.
Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.
Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away.
Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer.
Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer.
Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.
Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
Tie the little @!!@#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed.
Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet.
Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
Consume remainder of Scotch.
Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye.
Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to give a dog a pill:
Wrap it in cheese.
have had a few like that
..... and some amazing ones too. Had one in work on chemo for nigh on 3 years ...
he'd be sat on my desk every morning waiting for me to arrive ....
and again at 6 of an evening .....
he knew and was absolutely brilliant at taking his 4 tab.s morning and night.
Used to have a vincristin shot at the vets every 3rd week and although he'd sit growling at 'em, they always said he was as good as gold and never scratched or bit any of them
He was an exception to the rule though
Slinkymog, sat on the 4 ton Hyster bonnet .... he'd ride around on the FLT for hours ... it was nice and warm
SLINKY.jpg
same joker also came up with this one .......
How to wash a cat
Thoroughly clean the toilet. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION!!!!!
Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
Flush the toilet three or four times.
Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
I came in to work one morning, many years ago (before Slinkymog was ill) to find him covered head to foot in brown, silty, muddy mess .... he'd obviously been rolling round in a muddy puddle ... probably defending his turf .
Stuck him in a couple of inches of warm water in the sink and proceeded to attempt to get him clean!!
he looked a bit more cat like, (all be it a very wet one), after about three changes of water ..
sat there good as gold and loved being toweled dry after ....
much like the two we have here at home ...
they go out in the rain 'specially to get soaked and toweled down on re-entry
.gif "wink2")
.... new 400mm bucket .... 35mm pins 
.gif "thumbs up")
..... how are the internal mechanisms on these HPX grab gears lubricated ??? 
So in answer to my own Q ..... the lil' bugger is stuffed full of oil 
and is gonna need inverting / rotating to all sorts of orientations, possibly, to clear everything out ... 
...... it ****in' pissed down! 
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